Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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