They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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