can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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