so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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