new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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