belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
