Umm I'm too high to move.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
