what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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