I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
