see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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