so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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