Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
