if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
