Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
