McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
