Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I see more hoeing in ur future
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
