I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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