No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
