I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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