Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
