where does the pee come out of this thing
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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