we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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