I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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