her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
50% drunk capacity currently
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
