I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
