So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
