we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
