Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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