don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
