Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
