Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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