I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize