just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this hospital has no fireball
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize