So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
