When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
