it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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