she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
