Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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