At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
