is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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