I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
