So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
