Moan for me like Helen Keller
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize