What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
