i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
