We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
