last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
