Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
