I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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