He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up under a house in Key West
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
