he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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