im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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