Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
