Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
