I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Randomize
