Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
