let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They took my balls.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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