you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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