Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize