Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
