you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
