I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
