I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
