If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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