Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
