So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
