I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
